My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize