i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I stole a fireplace last night.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
