Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
