North Korea, Best Korea!
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
