Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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