he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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