So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
