like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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