Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize