MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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