New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize