WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
