It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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