I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
