I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
