Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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