my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
