Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
