when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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