Christians are straight up FREAKS
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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