Its about making memories worth repressing
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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