Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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