with your own penis?
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
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