and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
