addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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