We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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