She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
