oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
