You're so nebulous sometimes
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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