the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I am mentally ready for anal.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
