All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
