What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
