I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He better not be in your backpack
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
