I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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