you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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