everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
