is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
