Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It's blow job season.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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