he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize