Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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