I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
they're like a gay fantastic four
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
