Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
