did you get engaged???
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
