I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Randomize
