So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize