You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
