dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
soo... how was my night?
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