Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
