Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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