i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
