I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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