Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
