white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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