I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
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