If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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