I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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