You made me cry and you don't even care
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
My balls are so social today.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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