why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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