would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
