dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
